I can't tell you how many times I have kept myself in check and spoken
not a word to the many men who seem to think they can catch my attention
by mere easily said words and
compliments. I normally just ignore them and don't even take the time to
respond. I hear their hearts. I know some are just lonely and hurting. I
do care that they are hurting, and I pray for them that what they're
missing will be restored -the respect they feel they haven't received,
their manhood and confidence ...but just because I am a single woman in
leadership does not mean that I will fall easily as your prey. I'm a
woman who learns from her mistakes, and the lessons and wisdom I have
gained from them are tattooed to my heart and mind. I am too busy
raising my daughters, running a full time ministry and building a
business to be a part of the world of dating sites, looking around at
every relationship status change or post someone makes. Your compliments
-even if they are truly sincere- do not impress. They use to when I had
a low self esteem. Flattering words alone are empty to me. Your words
need to be backed up by your actions. And they must be consistent. You
may be charming and love Jesus, but that doesn't make me quake at the
knees. I expect God's best for me. I won't settle for anything less.
Through my brokenness and disappointments I have become wiser and
stronger. My standards have been raised higher. My worth and value I
have found through Poppa God, not by your romantic notions and pursuits.
Your pocketbook full of money does not impress me -it's what you
do with it that does, and just because you can shower me with gifts does
not mean that I can be bought. I am a woman who does love beautiful
things -sparkly things, but your heart and character are what truly
matter to me. If you're well known or even famous, that's nice. I'm not
impressed by a name, but by the character behind it. Your reputation can
seem appealing, but we all know that it could be lost in a moment of
weakness.
I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not easily won. If you
want to know what will win my heart, then you had better seek my Poppa
God out for His approval. I will not chase after the affections of a
man. I have found that my soul is satisfied with Jesus and His presence.
Do I want to be alone? No. I love life and I love loving someone, but I
will wait for a man who has the heart of a King. If you don't have
integrity, then I can't admire you. There's just no way around that one.
I desire a man of worship...who daily seeks and talks with the Holy
Spirit. A man after God's own heart. I'm not expecting perfect -King
David wasn't perfect. He had many flaws, but one thing I find
irresistible is his longing to please God and to make music to His
heart.
My most sacred dwelling place is where I spend time singing
to the Holy Spirit. My bath time is one of my most holy places -my
secret place. Even as a toddler I would sing out spontaneous songs to
Him and He would sing back to me His love songs. I've done this all my
life. Does your heart long for Him? Is your greatest pleasure
experiencing and discovering more of Him? Stagnancy is something I can't
stand. I am a woman who loves to learn and expand my mind and heart,
reaching into the depths and layers of Him and all that He is. He is
vast and wide and there is so much more of Him to find. A man who can
daily inspire me in this way is pivotal. Warm and deep conversation is
what creates a soulful and meaningful relationship to me.
Frankly, I
don't want to be bored. I am always moving and striving to move
forward. I view life as a journey that is meant to be adventuresome. Are
you kingdom minded? What I mean is, do you make your most important
decisions based on what is eternally lasting, or on momentary earthly
stubble? I eat, sleep and breathe the desire to encourage and give hope
to others. I feel most satisfied when I know I have made a difference to
someone else. Hurting people are the ones I long to comfort and speak
words of healing and life over -to help someone who's been rejected and
help them know how much Poppa God loves them.
I've been called to
the nations. As a young woman I believed and received the scriptures
that said, "Ask of me and I will give you the nations as an
inheritance." This is no easy feat, but it's my passion. I love people. I
watch them -study their human behavior. I love different cultures and
meeting new people from all walks of life. My partner of life has to be a
man who likes to travel because I'm not a homebody kind of gal. My home
will be his heart. Wherever he goes, I will go. His people will be my
people -the people he is called to impact and encourage. This is my
calling. To stand beside a leader -a man of substance and wisdom, a man
who worships in spirit and in truth. His song will be my song. I love
singing and harmonizing. Sing with me in the car, in the shower, or
30,000 feet in the air.
There are simple things I have learned to
appreciate...a sunset, the sound of ocean waves, the smile of a
stranger, a song on the radio. These please my heart.
As a woman, I
have many sides to me. It frustrates me that men think they have
figured me all out. If you are one of them, let me tell you, you
haven't, because I won't reveal all of myself to you unless I can trust
you and you have earned the right to know my many layers. I can be
silly, quirky and playful. I'm a passionate woman in everything I do. If
I say something, I mean it to the fullest. My words I write are the
song of my heart beat.
I am a girly girl in every sense of the
term. I love being a woman...wearing heels and dresses, makeup and
sparkly things. I am fragile like an exotic flower, and like to be
handled as such. I am old fashioned and traditional. I, at times, think I
was born into the wrong era. I like having the door opened for me. I
like the man to drive, for him to be in charge of the finances. I enjoy
following his lead (If he has vision and knows where he is going). This
does not mean I'm weak. I feel it's a rare and strong trait to let the
man be a spiritual leader and to stand beside him as the encouraging
help mate that God has called and purposed women to be. Loyalty is
everything to me. I will protect whom I love. I will fight for what I
believe in.
I'm not a back pocket kind of woman. I belong in the
front next to your heart. I'm not a side dish. I'm the main course with
all the extras. I am curvy, not fat. I will not become a stick or ever
be model thin. I like my body as God has made it. I strive to maintain
it. I believe in exercising and eating healthy. This does not mean I
don't ever go through "frump girl" stages, because I do. I need a man
who sees my beauty and reminds me when I have forgotten who I am; and
though I'm passionate, I am not a sexual conquest. I cannot be your
lover for a lifetime if Jesus is not the lover of your soul for
eternity. This is my standard. I am God's daughter, and I expect to be
treated as such.
I want to be romanced by you every day in the
little things that you do. I love to snuggle up and hold your hand.
These small things are big to me. Don't ever take me for granted just
because I'm loyal and faithful. I expect to be cherished -sweetly
spoiled. I want to be included in your time -quality time. Share with me
your struggles, your spiritual experiences, the vulnerable and soft
parts of your heart. If you have won my heart, I promise to protect and
regard it as precious. Your joys are mine, your sadness mine, your
dreams ...I want them all.
I am a creative person. I am always
thinking, dreaming, planning, inventing, writing, etc. I have big
dreams...ridiculous dreams. I won't share them unless I know you can
respect them and believe in them too. I paint, I write, I sing, and I
love to make things. I find it frustrating when I have an idea in my
mind but I can't find it in the store. I was meant to be an
entrepreneur. I have inventions I would like to market and license. I
believe money is meant to be a used as a tool to accomplish what God has
purposed and planned for you. Money invested in the kingdom of God is a
returnable and wise investment. If you can't provide or pay your bills,
I am not your kind of woman. I admire a man who has a vision and also
handles his money with God's wisdom. Do you care about the poor, broken
and the needy? It's not just writing out a check...It's passion, it's
love, it's teaching and investing in other people's dreams. This is my
heart. I do like material things (who doesn't?), but my number one
agenda is touching lives. Money is a tool to do that.
What is
valuable to me? My beautiful children. I'm a single momma, and it's hard
-very hard. I never desired for my kids to be from a broken home. They
have been hurt, disappointed, and abandoned. A man who sees my kids as a
blessing and not as a burden is important to me. They are four
beautiful amazing hearts of precious cargo. They need to be embraced,
loved on, believed in, and invested in. We are a package deal, and even
though they are almost grown and will be adults soon, they are a huge
portion of my heart. They teach me and inspire me. This makes me
determined that my dreams have to come true because their dreams need
wings too.
Several years ago, as I was kneeling at an altar, I cried
out to God in brokenness. I heard the Holy Spirit say, "I am sending
you a Boaz." At the time I really didn't know much about the story of
Ruth and Boaz. It wasn't the favorite Bible story I was taught in Sunday
School as a child. I have had to embrace and learn about the heart of
Ruth. She was on a long journey of tears, heartaches, and struggles. I
can relate to her in many ways. I have been on this road too. I have
found my pleasure and purpose to be helping others who have been hurting
or abandoned like me. This ministry God has called me to do came out of
my own ashes, brokenness, and abandonment. I sought my heart out layer
by layer. I've had to come to terms with my own failures in my 13 year
marriage. I've been honest with myself (not always easy but important),
gleaned wisdom from those mistakes and have been sharing what I've
learned with women who are struggling in their relationships with their
husbands, and have been helping those whose husbands have left them and
walked away from God and their families. I wish to speak healing and
comfort to their hearts. I'm sticking to the promise Poppa God gave
me.This has kept me going. I know that someday my Boaz will see me from
across the field and come for me. Until then, I'm still in the fields of
God's Grace being busy about my Heavenly Father's business. Written by
Jenny Williams Copyright 2013
