Kamis, 29 Desember 2016

How do I know?

Tuhan berbicara bbrp kali lwt pembicara khotbah dan pembimbing rohani...
How do I know?
So clear...
Jika seorang pria menganggap hubungan dgn semua wanita adl biasa saja...
Memang hangat pd semua lawan jenis...
Sering pergi berdua dgn lawan jenis yg berganti2...
Sering sms/BBM/WA nan dgn lawan jenis...
Sering curhat pd lawan jenis...
Sering mengajak kenalan lawan jenis yg penampilannya menarik...
Tebar2 pesona di berbagai medsos...
Semua dianggap biasa2 saja...padahal semua lawan jenis itu kemungkinan berharap...
Apalagi jika dilakukan berulang kali...
Dan itu berarti karakter bawaan...
Lebih baik tinggalkan orang itu...
Akan capek dan makan hati...
Karakter itu tdk akan berubah setelah menikah...
Akan sama saja...
Jgn berharap pd playboy/playgirl...
Potensi berselingkuh lebih besar...
Lebih baik sendiri dan menantikan seorang yang setia...
Jgn membebani diri sendiri kecuali org itu mau sungguh2 bertobat n berubah saat ini...

Jika dilakukan hanya sekali saja, mungkin itu khilaf sesaat...
Jadi masih bs dimaklumi..
Jika bisnis, sewajarnya tdk terlalu sering SMS, tdk sering curhat dan tdk membuat byk org berharap...
Lihat polanya..

Menurut pembicara, seseorang seharusnya setia...
Jika mendekati, sewajarnya fokus pd 1 orang...
Biasa2 saja dan tdk tebar pesona pd byk lawan jenis...

Menurutku memang seharusnya begitu...
Tuhan tidak akan memberikan hatimu pada orang yg tdk bs menjaga hatinya sendiri plus hati para lawan jenis...
Mohon bimbingan Tuhan apakah org itu setia atau tebar2 pesona?
Pikirkan masak2..amati dan teliti sungguh2..
Dalam pernikahan, seharusnya yg dicurhati hanya suami/istri, bukan byk lawan jenis..Sebelum menikah, boleh saja curhat tp ada batasan utk tdk vulgar dan jgn sering..baca menjaga hati versiku di blog ini utk keterangan lengkap versiku...
Be strong and courageous...
Trust God even when you don't understand His will...
 . Selamat cari kehendak Tuhan..

Love is a sacrifice for others' goodness , not self-seeking...
Inspired from 1 Corinthians 13:5a New International Version (NIV)
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, ...

Selasa, 27 Desember 2016

3 Things To Consider When God’s Answer is Not What You Want

You see it, you like it, you want it and you want it NOW. So you pray and you pray and you tell God what you want. You get worried that you will miss out on a good thing if He doesn’t move fast.
You beseech God in your prayers and you recount to Him all the scriptures about Him supplying all your needs and no good thing would He withhold. But when He doesn’t answer the way you’d like, you become despondent and frustrated. You work yourself into a frenzy wondering if God even hears you.
Consider these three points when it seems as if God is not answering your prayer:
The reason why you are asking –
What is your reason for wanting the house or the car or the boyfriend/girlfriend?
Is it for status or show?
Is it because everyone has one and so you want one too?
When we ask God for something, we need to check our reason for asking. In James 4:3 Paul says “ When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures ”.
God is willing to bless us with material possessions but not if He doesn’t receive the glory when He gives them to us; not when He knows we’ll become distracted by them and not give Him the glory.

He knows the future –
No man can see the future. Only God knows what the future holds. Only He knows what will happen to us during the course of the day and beyond it. Only He knows what our financial, emotional or physical state will be in the future. And He knows whether giving this particular thing to us at this very moment will cause us hardship emotionally or financially later on.
Maybe that guy/girl who is so tender and loving now may change into someone you don’t recognize later on.
Maybe that car that you want will become so problematic that it will cost more to fix it than the price you paid to buy it. Only God knows!
I remember a few years ago when I wanted to make a huge investment, God stopped it. The deal was about to be closed. All that had to be done was to have the papers signed. But God sent someone who spoke to me and advised me against it. It always amazes me how that happened. The person had absolutely no knowledge of what I was about to do. It was a totally random conversation but God spoke to me through that person.
It turned out the following year, the income in my household was drastically reduced. If I had gone through with the deal, we would have suffered greatly. I have never stopped thanking God for that and so have learned to go according to His will and not mine.

He has something better in store for you –
Sometimes we rush ahead thinking that this is the best deal ever. There is no way that I can get this deal or offer anywhere else and I have to grab it before it goes.
I can testify that God always gives us his best no matter what. When I was doing my undergraduate degree, just like everyone else I applied for a student loan. Both of my attempts were rejected. I was frustrated but I began my degree in faith.
This is how God worked things out: my first and second years, I received bursaries to cover my tuition and in my remaining time I got two partial scholarships that covered my tuition. I also got a job on campus that supplemented rent and food. At the end of my degree, I was debt-free! All praises be to God!
He takes care of his own and ALWAYS gives them His best. At the time I was frustrated but God had something else, something much better in store for me.
I could go on and on about how God moves but what I want to leave with you is this… If you haven’t received whatever you’ve asked for as of yet, don’t become flustered or frustrated or rush ahead. God knows what He is doing and if it is within His will for you to have it He will give it to you but in HIS time not yours and in HIS way not yours.

Senin, 26 Desember 2016

Quote from my heart

Thn 2016 ada byk jatuh bangun...
Tp Tuhan slalu menguatkan n menghibur...
Melalui ayat2 Nya, quote2, sahabat2 n tmn2...
Juga menang lomba...
😄.Hehe.. Tuhan yg menyertai dr hr ke hr, thn ke thn..
Dr Januari sampai Desember...
Tuhan yg sama...msh setia...meski kita kdg putus asa n agak jaga jarak dr Nya...
Tetep berjuang melekat pd Tuhan...
N slg menguatkan dlm komunitas2..

Mazmur 91:4, 14 (TB)  Dengan kepak-Nya Ia akan menudungi engkau, di bawah sayap-Nya engkau akan berlindung, kesetiaan-Nya ialah perisai dan pagar tembok. "Sungguh, hatinya melekat kepada-Ku, maka Aku akan meluputkannya, Aku akan membentenginya, sebab ia mengenal nama-Ku.
Psalms 91:4, 14 (KJ2000)  He shall cover you with his feathers, and under his wings shall you trust: his truth shall be your shield and buckler.
Because he has set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he has known my name.
. 😃 Quote from my heart....

Sabtu, 24 Desember 2016

when God has other plans

Sometimes I think about my life...
Am I in the right job?
Are my decisions true to reject some men?
Whether several men surrounding me pursue some women+ steal their heart or they keep pure mind about people from the opposite sex n guard their heart?
I still look for the answers...
Actually I will never receive someone who cannot guard his heart and women's heart...
I still pray and struggle to find out all questions in my head..
Seeking God's will..
Waiting for confirmations...
I hope I can understand God's voice...and follow His will with pleasure...even if He says no...Maybe it is hard, but it is the step of faith by letting go everything that can sabotage God's plan for me...

I was going to scream at the very tiptop of my lungs and break at least 2 plates, if I’d heard one more person say, “When God closes a door, He’ll open another.” Although I knew this to be true, there didn’t seem to be any doors opening for me at the time. No, not one.
Every door I tried to open was sealed tighter than any door at the Pentagon and I was starting to think, maybe these doors were closed because I didn’t have the right keys.
Maybe the right key(s) were in a different location, a different state, a different town, a different house, a different job. What if every single door was closed so I would finally get the message that none of the doors were ever going to open because they weren’t my doors to walk through?
God had already determined when, where and how my doors would be open but I wasn’t listening. I just kept making my own plans. Yeah, I knew what the Bible said (3 times to be exact in Proverbs) about making plans, but I wanted what I wanted.
“We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.” (Proverbs 16:1) and then again…
“We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) and again,
“We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they will fall.” (Proverbs 16:33).
So there you have it. If it’s not in God’s plans, you can forget about it!
A few years ago, I moved to Florida. I went there to “visit” the love of my life and never looked back. I left New York, moved in with him and was ready to build our lives together even though I didn’t have any family or friends in Florida, I didn’t know a soul. But I didn’t care, I was in love and God was gonna work it out. We were going to get married and live happily ever after.
But umm, NO. That didn’t happen, God definitely said “No”.
Fast forward 1 ½ years later, I still didn’t have any friends (which is extremely odd for me because I’m the friend of all friends), I didn’t like my job, and my boyfriend worked all the time. Feeling alone and not having any family or friends around was hard and it was starting to wear on me. Then due to budget cuts at work, I got laid off. When that happened, I immediately thought that maybe God was answering my prayers for guidance and direction. I had been praying for a new job and for forgiveness for living with a man before marriage and I wanted more than anything to live a life that honored God. I desperately needed to hear from Him. So when I got laid off, I thought maybe it was His way of saying that it was time for me to move because from there God started closing every single door. He was closing every door so I wouldn’t have any options. He had other plans for me, I just didn’t know it yet.
He was saying “NO, you can no longer live with this man and not be married to him.”
“NO, I am not going to bless you with another job in Florida because this is not my plan for you right now.”
“I am closing all these doors so you will be forced to make another choice. NO!”
Finally, I said ok God, I hear you loud and clear.

Leaving Florida and the man that I am still in love with was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I trusted that if it’s God’s will for us to be together, He will work it all out.
Now I am certain that God will close every single door to get our attention and force us to listen to Him. When we refuse to make the right choices on our own, He will make them for us. He will make our lives so uncomfortable that we will run with Batman speed away from anyplace, person or thing that can block the flow of His blessings.
God still hasn’t revealed all the plans He has for me but doors are now starting to open. And although my heart is broken and I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night, my conscious is clean and I’m looking forward to living in His will. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has my back and loves me more than anything even when He says NO.

10 Things To Remember If You Are Struggling With Being Single

If you look up the actual definition of the word, “waiting” in the Oxford Dictionary is this;
“the fact of staying where you are or delaying doing something until somebody/something comes or something happens.”
If you follow along with us on Facebook , you might notice that one of the most important things I try to stress to young girls and women is that yes, waiting is hard, annoying, frustrating, and sometimes even heartbreaking, but that THIS is the perfect opportunity to find yourself and to encounter a love romance with God.
Singleness, if you ask me, has been given a bad rep. Every single movie you watch, revolves around a love story. It’s everywhere you look. You see it in television, songs, advertisements, it’s basically in your face ALL THE TIME. No wonder so many men and women are rushing into relationships.
But there is good reason to take heart if you are single. Each day that God has put breath in your lungs is a day to cherish the life you’ve been given, whether you are married or single. We like to try to put a time table on God, then get angry when things don’t happen in our timing. If only we could see all of the things God has protected us from, and all the ways in which He is preparing us.
The most important thing in your life is not to get married, despite what some may say. The most important goal that we should constantly pursue in our lifetimes is a romance with Jesus. A relationship with God is the MOST important relationship you can have.
I don’t say this to discredit anyone’s feelings. Sometimes waiting can be absolutely heart wrenching and I get that. I LIVED that. But I’m here to hopefully give you a new perspective on the life that you should be living now, and hopefully brighten your day for a better tomorrow. We have to approach every area of our life, including marriage, with a Godly mindset.
With that being said, here are 10 simple truths to remember if you are struggling with being single.
1.It’s better to remain single than to marry the wrong person.
One of the worst mistakes you can make in this life is to rush a relationship that God didn’t intend for you. Every person you are with, you have ties to spiritually. If you rush ahead of God you may find yourself miserable and broken in a relationship with someone who was never meant for you. That’s enough reason within itself to stay put and wait for God to bring along your spouse.
2.There is beauty in every season, including your singleness.
So many men and women wish away so many precious years because they’ve been taught its better to be in a wrong relationship than to be lonely. God has a purpose for every season of your life, just as King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes chapter 3. God has a purpose for your season of singleness, and he has a time and purpose for your marriage. Embrace this moment and don’t let another day go by wishing for something that’s not intended for you yet.
When I fell in love with my husband, I quickly realized God didn’t just give me what I asked for, but he gave me more. There are ways that both my husband and I compliment each other. That doesn’t mean our relationship is perfect, but it is nice knowing I have someone who is what I prayed for, and I didn’t have to go out on my own and search for it. I conceded my desires to God and He gave me the desires of my heart.
4.Each day you wish away is a day you can’t gain back.
If you’re not careful, you will spent your entire life wishing for a better job, a better house, a husband, a car, children, retirement, etc. until you finally don’t have another day left to wish for something. Contentment is something I struggle with. I am guilty for wishing to be on the other side of the fence, but contentment is where we can find our inner peace, to trust God that whatever is meant to happen, and whoever is meant to cross our paths will do so in His timing. Life becomes much more simple when we find contentment within our hearts.
5.Prayer produces growth in both your heart and the heart of the one you will marry.
If you are struggling with this season in your life, I encourage you to lock yourself in your prayer closet and cry out to God. Let Him know you’re hurt, let Him know you’re angry. Tell Him all of your problems, because He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He hears your cries, and feels your pain. Call out to God to bring whatever and whoever you need into your life, then trust God to do His part, and He will. Pray for growth in your heart, and pray for your future spouse. Talking to God is sometimes all you need to soothe your anxious heart when you are hurting.
6.With relationships come responsibility. Embrace belonging to yourself.
If you struggle with trusting God that He will give you the right person, I want you to know you are not alone. I wish I could take back every second I became anxious, worrying if God would give me the person He had for me. The worry took away from the joy of being single, the fact that I belonged to myself and to Jesus. All I had to worry about were my own responsibilities, but when you become married every decision you make, everything you say, and everything you do reflects not only you, but your entire family. Take this time to fall in love with God, fall in love with life. Find out what you want in life and go get it. Don’t waste a moment living in misery or fear. You are more than a conqueror and a child of the King.
7.You have time right now to find yourself.
Become comfortable with being alone. Learn to love yourself. Learn what you want in life and go find it. Pick up new hobbies, go out with your friends, spend time with your loved ones, pursue that career you always dreamed of, and love being in your own shoes. Take time to work on you, and enjoy it. It’s okay to still dream of getting married, but take this season where you are and embrace it fully, just as you will when God permits you to marry.
8.You get to embrace a sole romance with Jesus.
While you should always pursue a relationship with God, theres just something so sweet about being single and letting the Author of romance woo you. He is your first love, and He longs to have your heart before you give it to any other man. He is the Father of the Fatherless, and you are His princess. Take this opportunity to find yourself in His love, and that, my friend, makes all the difference in this season in your life.
9.If you aren’t content now, you won’t be content when you are married.
One of the tricky games the devil tries to play with your mind is that if you get married all your problems will go away. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that is not going to happen. You will still have heartache, problems, and frustrations, they don’t go away magically when you become married. I love my husband dearly, but I can’t place the weight of my eternal happiness on Him. Thats a job that only God can bear. So find contentment in this moment, and rest in the peace that God is in control of your love life.
10.You are fiercely loved, by the biggest Romancer of all.
Last, but certainly not least, you are loved, sister and brother. You are cherished. You are adored. You are special. You are lovely. You are remarkable, and there is a God who is so in love with you, and He’s holding out His hand inviting you in. His promise to you is that you will never live one day unloved, and that is enough to lay your head down at night without fear, stress, or worry, because you know the one who is in control.

Jumat, 23 Desember 2016

5 Ways to Stay Encouraged During Hard Times

5 Ways to Stay Encouraged During Hard Times



Be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. ~2 Chronicles 15:7

It’s easy to lose faith when it seems as though everything is going wrong in our lives. When nothing seems to go as planned and we just can’t seem to get a break from God. We wonder if He even hears our cries or if He even cares.

That’s usually when the enemy will creep in and start to play tricks with our minds. There’s an old saying. “An idle mind is the devil’s playground”. This is why it’s so important to stay in the word even when you don’t feel like God loves you. Even when you question whether or not you should even love Him.

I remember a time in my life when I wondered if I was being silly or naive for still believing in God after everything He was allowing me to go through. I mean, how could He love me and let me suffer the way I was suffering?

It seemed like as soon as I overcame one hurdle, I was dealing with another. It seemed like the only way out was to give up. Giving up would have definitely been the easy way out, but that wasn’t even an option for me.

I knew there was a purpose for my pain, a greater calling on my life, and I was determined to find it. I could have stayed down, thrown in the towel, and threw myself one huge pity party, but I didn’t.

I used my sorrows as fuel to draw closer to God because in my heart I knew that I had taken my eyes off Him and maybe just maybe all of this was to get me to come back to Him. If so, it worked!

Here are 5 ways I restored my faith in God:

I Prayed

( 1 John 5:14 )  “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us”.

I prayed morning, noon, and night, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I didn’t pray for God to take my burdens away. I prayed for strength to endure them. I prayed for God to reveal whatever it was that He wanted me to gain from all my suffering. I knew He would take care of me. I was sure of this. The more I prayed, the less I worried.

I Learned to be Grateful

( Romans 8:28 ) “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose”.

One of the things that happened during this dark season of my life is that I had been in a car accident. The car was totaled, but I walked away without a scratch on me. All I could think about was how much of an inconvenience this accident was. The timing was horrible. I had just started a new job the week prior so missing a day of work was not an option. But then I was reminded that there are a lot of people who don’t walk away from car accidents. I was blessed. Not cursed!

I Talked to Other Christians

( Proverbs 27:17 ) “Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another”.

When you’re struggling with your Faith, getting advice from non-believers is the last thing you should do. It’s like the blind leading the blind. How can they encourage you if they lack faith themselves? Get involved in a church function, a ministry, or seek Christian counseling. Sometimes it’s easier to vent to a stranger from fear of being judged by your loved ones.

I Stayed Equipped With the Word

( 2 Timothy 3:16 ) “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness”.

One of my favorite scriptures that helped me through this tough season was Hebrews 11:6– “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

There’s a scripture for just about everything we go through. From avoiding temptation, dealing with adultery, even choosing our friends. Some scriptures you may not be familiar with as much as others. All you have to do is type in one keyword or phrase and Voila! Help is on the way. They even have versions which are easier to understand than traditional versions.

I Remembered When…

( Ephesians 2:8-9 ) “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God”.

I thought back to other times when I was going through a season of darkness and I asked myself: How did I make it out of that storm without losing my mind? ” and then I answered my own question… FAITH! I needed faith to come out and I used it, whether I had realized it or not. God’s grace is sufficient.

- See more at:

8 Tips For Supporting a Loved One In Their Time of Suffering

8 Tips For Supporting a Loved One In Their Time of Suffering



Through my experiences I have gained a little insight into what was helpful for me during my time of suffering, and my hope and commitment is that I can use this experience to be there for others in ways that are helpful for their healing.

These are the lessons I learned.  I hope they will be helpful for you in supporting others through suffering:

Love unconditionally 

It sounds simple, but this is really the most important thing you can do for someone who is suffering.  It is also incredibly difficult to do well.  However, if you can love them at their worst, this is true love.  Look to how God loved the world, and how Jesus treated the hurt and broken, and this provides a great example to follow. Many people will avoid them or leave them in this time as they won’t necessarily be fun to be around at times.  Be the person that stays with them, no matter what.

Suggestion on what not to say: “You’ll be fine”

Suggestion what to say: “I’m here for you, no matter what”

Be patient 

Healing takes as long as it takes.  Yes, there might be ways to speed up healing, just as there are ways to prolong it, however if they are not yet ready to take certain steps, let them take their time.  The worst thing you can do is tell them they should be “over it” by now.  When people told me this I thought I was a failure, and it made the suffering worse.  Be gentle, and patient.  This type of kindness is more healing that you will ever know.

Suggestion on what not to say: “It’s been X months/years.  You should be over this by now”

Suggestion what to say: “I’m so sorry you are still hurting.”

Be quick to empathise and slow to offer advice  

Unless asked for, avoid giving advice unless absolutely necessary.   This is what the best therapists and friends did for me.  Everyone was quick to give me advice, but rarely did it help.  What is more useful is listening and understanding.  This is healing balm.  Of course, if asked, give advice.  However, the truth is that their journey is their own, and whatever might have worked for you, or others, may not work for them.  They need to go on their own journey.  What you can do is help by being a listening ear, and trying to understand their pain.   This is true empathy.  And, if you take the time to truly understand what they are going through, then any advice you give will likely be more helpful.   

Cheryl Sandburg said this so beautifully following the death of her husband when she said that “Real empathy … is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not.”

Suggestion on what not to say: “You should just do XXX, and you’ll feel better”

Suggestion what to say: “Help me understand how you’re feeling”

Know that suffering is not relative

It can’t be compared, so be slow to judge that the level of their pain is unwarranted for whatever reason.  Once of the worst things you can do, is say “others are suffering more than you, get over yourself”.  Their pain is real, and can’t be compared to others.   Yes, it helps in having perspective, but telling them they shouldn’t be feeling they way they do isn’t helpful. 

Suggestion on what not to say: “Stop thinking about yourself, others are suffering more than you”

Suggestion what to say: “What you are feeling is real, and I’m so sorry you are feeling this way”

Know when to seek professional help

Especially if you think there might be a mental illness that your friend is suffering from, make sure they seek professional help.  There will be limits to what you can do as a friend, and that’s what professionals are for, especially if they have a disease.  Mental illness is real and can be treated with medication and therapy.  For me, getting on the right medication was one of the most helpful things I could do.  When I did, it was like a cloud lifted and I could see clearly.  Until this happened, my efforts to try and be ok were fruitless – just as trying to heal a broken leg with positive thought won’t work, so too will trying to get through depression.   

Two additional pieces of advice on this;

Go along with them, both for support, and to make sure they are prioritising appointments.  It is often the last thing you want to do when you’re in the midst of suffering!

Don’t use professional advice as a way of avoiding being there for them.  While people need professional advice at times of suffering, they too need the love and support of friends and family

Suggestion on what not to say: “You are crazy and need professional help”

Suggestion what to say: “The way you are feeling is normal, and a professional could help support you at this time. Can I make an appointment for you?

Learn to identify the signs of suicide, and what to do if you see them

Common signs include a change in behaviour, the way they are talking, or mood.   The more signs there are the greater the risk is.   

Changes in behaviour could include; increased use of alcohol or drugs, Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means, acting recklessly, withdrawing from activities, isolating from family and friends, sleeping too much or too little, visiting or calling people to say goodbye or giving away prized possessions.

Changes in the way they are talking could include: having no reason to live, being a burden to others, feeling trapped or unbearable pain. 

Changes in mood could include: depression, loss of interest, rage, irritability, humiliation and anxiety. 

If you are worried someone is contemplating suicide, take this very seriously and never think they are just looking for attention.  The level of the risk helps you to determine what action to take – from talking to them if it is a low risk, to taking them to the hospital if you think there is an immediate risk.  Read up more on this here:

Suggestion on what not to say: “Suicide is selfish, you are stronger/better than that”

Suggestion what to say: “I’m concerned you are considering suicide, is that true?  Let me help you”

Take care of yourself

Loving someone in their time of suffering can be draining.  It truly is one of the most selfless and sacrificial things you can do for someone, especially if you stay with them through it all.  However, it’s important that you take care of yourself in order to be there for them.  This includes being honest with them about what you can and can’t do for them, taking time out and making sure you are well rested – emotionally, spiritually and physically. 

Suggestion on what not to say: “You’re such a burden.  It’s always about you”

Suggestion what to say: “I know you’re hurting and  want to be there for you.  However, right now I need XXX.  How can I help you find someone else to be there for you right now?”

Encourage them to undertake activities that bring them joy – and go with them

Again, this will be different for everyone but includes everything from eating well, exercise, worship, serving the community – whatever it is that might help them take their mind of their own suffering if just for a moment.  While there is definitely a time to experience and work through their pain, if they are able to find even a moment of relief in undertaking a joyful activity, it can bring great healing.  Again, do more than just suggest these things – be an active participant and go along with them.  It’s much more fun doing these things with someone else.  And, don’t be discouraged if they don’t help immediately – your effort and persistence will go a long way in itself!

Suggestion on what not to say: “Just go for a run and you’ll be ok!”

Suggestion what to say: “What brings you joy?  Lets do that together!”

I owe my life to the people who have done these things for me over the last two years.  Every day I am grateful for them, and have learned what real love looks like by the way they have loved me.  Know that by loving someone like this is not only one of the best things you could do with your life, it could also save someone else’s life.  And, it will strengthen relationships in your life, bringing much greater joy in the long run.

Senin, 19 Desember 2016

God's gifts

Akhir2 ini sebenernya diriku sedih...
Rasanya berat bgt hidupku...
Tp bersyukur sih Tuhan mengirimkan sahabat2 yg menguatkanku...
Aku sempat menitikkan air mata terharu atas kebaikan Tuhan..
Terus aku jg bersyukur bs menang juara 2 di 1 lomba.,,
Ini ke2x nya aku menang sbg runner-up winner lomba nulis...
Ini karyaku...
Sebenernya ada yg salah, mau kuedit n blg sm panitia tp ga bs diedit sih, ya sudahlah...
 Thanks God n bestfriends...

I hope my writing can inspire others...

Kamis, 15 Desember 2016

5 Truths to Remember About Overcoming Crisis With Christ

Let me remind you that you are more than a conqueror in Christ. But when crisis hits us we seem to forget that.

Crisis pressures us and leaves us feeling hopeless and helpless because when faced with crisis we tend to disregard God’s promises and sometimes diminish our identity in Christ.

But here’s the thing, if we truly desire to experience a life of abundance as God has purposed, we must learn how to victoriously overcome crisis. I know what some of you may be thinking: but why does God have to allow things that hurts and pains us to get His purpose?

Well… here’s my answer: while God can prevent crisis, He’s often chosen not to, BUT… According to scripture, He works all things together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Whenever I remember this scripture, these questions come to mind: what if God allowed crisis as a way for us to further discover our true identity in Him? What if crisis was our opportunity to put scriptures to practice? What if our promises and blessings could also be realized through crisis? What if crisis brought us one step closer to God?

If there is any truth to these inquiries, than it’s equally true that we need to learn how to respond to crisis in a way that allows us to reap its many blessings.

The best way to do that is by maintaining a Christ-like attitude in the midst of Crisis. Here are 5 simple yet biblical ways to do that.

1. Be still and know that He is God (Psalms 46:10)

Where is God? This is probably one of the first questions we ask during crisis.
We may not get a clear and direct answer from God. However, one thing is for sure, He’s not the author of confusion. God made the heavens and the earth… and He said, “It was good.” While He didn’t purpose crisis nor the pain, aniexty and fear that it produces, He will use it to help us bear spiritual fruits. In crisis, we tend to seek and pursuit God in ways we’ve never done before. It has a way of drawing us near to God–where He finds us being still and knowing that He is God.

2. He will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Crisis can make us feel alone. It may even feel like God has abandoned us. We await to hear from Him or even to witness a miracle. When nothing happens, we are convinced that God is unavailable.

But what we must grasp is that God is more concerned about the person we are becoming in the crisis, than He is about ending it. Crisis has a way of renewing our minds, and sometimes offering us a Godly perspective. It has a way of revealing qualities that help to refine and develop our true character in Christ. It is during that crisis that we are introduced to a better version of ourselves–a self full of strength, courage and perseverance.

3. The enemy is always busy (1 Peter 5:8)

Sometimes the crisis we face may be a result of a lie. Our real enemy- satan is the father of lies and awaits every opportunity to destroy us with them. However, the effects of his lies will totally depend on our response. I know it’s not easy to stay positive in the midst of crisis, but you will be amazed on how God can create good from where the enemy meant evil. It’s also important that our response is in line with God’s will.

4. He’s already made a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Let’s face it…. some crisis are the direct results of our own doings. We involve ourselves in things we shouldn’t and hope that it works in our favor. But here’s the problem… such involvement is an open invitation to evil. The Bible tells us that the devil is like a roaring lion seeking to devour us. When we allow temptation of sin to overcome us, we give the evil one permission to attack us. Think about how many times you have knowingly did wrong , but for some reason, you expected your wrong doings to have a good ending. The good news is that even in our self-inflicted crisis, we can turn to God. He will answer us, He will forgive us, and He will heal us.

5. No good thing will He withhold from you (Psalms 84:11)

Crisis can sometimes cause us to forfeit God’s blessings. For example, this often happens in the area of relationships when we feel like a once in life time opportunity might be lost. We turn no good relationships into miserable marriages because we believe it’s our only ticket to be married. This is not God’s way. He doesn’t want us to settle for anything that will devalue us and take away from His relationship with us. Our relationships with others will never be perfect, but they should be fruitful. This is only possible when the two are resting and believing in the God’s truths.

While crisis in the physical realm will produce pains and displeasures, in the spiritual realm, it is doing the work of renewing our minds to be more Christ-like.

4 Ways To Be a Godly Influence

We often see phrases like “Girl Boss”, “Mogul” or “Boss Babe” used to describe women who are successful entrepreneurs and influencers in the business world. You may find that women who hold these titles are heavily admired by the world with followers who post the phrase “GOALS” or place heart eyes as captions in admiration of the success these women display. These women are fearless, bold and admired among many.
But as Christian women, we must realize that we are only successful if we do it with the help of the Holy Spirit. He is constantly leading and guiding our decisions so that we can be a witness to the world in our work place and share our secret to success: GOD! In the bible Jesus taught about being a light in the midst of darkness, shining so brightly that the world will want to know “Who’s that girl?”
As Praying Women we have the ability to lead by faith and positively influence and change the world! We should be such examples of GOD that we draw other women to our faith. Our work ethic, how we handle conflict, our ability to stay calm during chaos and showing love; should be so admired that we are able to use our work place as a platform for ministry and discipleship.
We don’t want to glorify worldly success, money, designer labels, exotic trips but the glory in being successful under the leading of GOD that causes everything we do to prosper and live life in peace.
Here are 4 Ways to Have Godly Influence:
Seek God First:
A Godly Girl Boss makes it known that GOD is her source and first response. We make sure that we connect with Him before we make any decisions and because of this we succeed.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
Do it with passion. We don’t cut corners. We will encounter many opportunities to take the easy way out to get ahead, but we don’t take risk losing our witness and influence.
“Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” (Colossians 3:23 )
Lead by Example :
We are aware that we have the ability to attract and witness to others by the way we lead. We Show up on time, we don’t participate in gossip, we treat others fairly and produce successful results because we trust GOD! You have to remember someone is always watching us.
Faith Moves :
Our faith is known by the people we encounter daily. Our faith is not a secret; our days are centered on our prayer time, fellowship (church) and we don’t compromise. We always consider if something is in line with our relationship and faith in GOD. We are in constant communication with the Holy Spirit throughout the day asking:
Is this partnership what GOD will want me to do?
Will this cause me to spend less time in prayer and in fellowship with GOD?
Is this brand’s mission or beliefs in line with my beliefs?
We pray about everything and the Holy Spirit will lead us where we need to be.
Many Christian women think that humility is playing small so that others feel comfortable or so we won’t offend anyone. Humility simply knows that our entire purpose for being alive is so that others will know Jesus through all we do.
So let’s shine ladies! Let us use these platforms to show the world that God is the source!

Senin, 12 Desember 2016

3 Amazing Lessons Esther Teaches Us About Waiting, Dating, and Marriage

3 Amazing Lessons Esther Teaches Us About Waiting, Dating, and Marriage

The biblical story of how Esther became queen is quite interesting. King Ahasuerus threw an extravagant party that lasted for several days. On the last day of the party he called for Queen Vashti to wear her crown and walk around for everyone to see how beautiful she was. I don’t know if the queen was tired or going through something, but she refused to be the king’s trophy piece. She did not want to parade herself in front of the king’s guests.
As Christians, we are to believe that God inspired every word of the Bible, not for the sake of vanity, but to teach us something that we can use today. Here are 3 things we learn from the book of Esther.
The Male Ego is Real
Needless to say, the king was embarrassed that Vashti disregarded his wishes. How dare she not follow simple orders in front of his royal friends?
He decided she was no longer worthy to be queen and began to look for a replacement.
Not that I agree with such an abrupt decision to replace Vashti, but it’s important to focus on why he did it.
The thought of Queen Vashti rubbing off on all the other women in the kingdom made King Ahasuerus furious. If his queen won’t respect him, why would anyone else?
King Ahasuerus is not any different from men today. One of the biggest reasons men look for love elsewhere today is because they don’t feel prized in their own homes.
They want respect and they don’t want to be publicly embarrassed; whether it’s in front of their family, friends or complete strangers.
I’m sure Vashti was shocked that something so small got her replaced, but it is a good indication of how fragile the king’s ego was.
It’s more important to be a wife than a bride.
Esther was eventually crowned queen out of all the young women who applied for the position. On the day she was crowned, I imagine there was a huge celebration with lots of music and wine— similar to modern weddings but with one difference:
Esther went through a lengthy process of learning to be a queen before she was worthy to wear the crown. For 12 months she purified herself, applied beauty treatments, and learned how to impress the king.
Just about every modern woman dreams of her wedding day long before she has a suitor. She plans the color scheme, the cake flavors, and the song that will play as she walks down the aisle.
But how many women dream about what is supposed to happen in the years after saying “I do?”
There’s nothing wrong with planning the perfect wedding day, but it’s more important to learn how to communicate effectively, manage a household budget, and master the forgotten art of cooking.
We live in a society that puts more effort into extravagant one-day weddings than preparing to be a wife forever. And who can blame us. It’s really easy to get distracted by the idea of being a beautiful bride who is the center of attention.
But Esther didn’t go into the palace on day 1 planning a lavish wedding ceremony. She was more focused on what it would take to walk side-by- side with the king, long term.
She took the time to learn the position before she took the position.
Along with dreaming of the perfect wedding day, go further and dream of the perfect marriage. Then do your part to make it happen.
How To Prepare to be a Wife
For 12 months, each woman had to purify herself and apply beauty treatments. Only at the end of 12 months would each woman get a chance to impress the king.
Twelve months of purification and beauty treatments sound rather vain— even by today’s standards.
But what if you took the time to beautify yourself on the inside? What if you took more time to make yourself attractive mentally and spiritually before getting married?
In modern times, we don’t have attendants and hand maidens to teach us how to be wives. But we do have the Bible, pastors, books, and blogs like this : )
What can you do now to prepare you to be the queen forever?

Sabtu, 10 Desember 2016

Don't chase people

Menurutku, kita tdk perlu kejar2 PH..
What God has for you is for you...
Kyk kurang kerjaan aja..
Kan ada byk hal yg bs dilakuin kyk menolong adik rohani, menyemangati tmn2 yg menderita, bersaksi, hdp sesuai panggilan Tuhan, melayani, dll..
Aku jg heran knp kok ada org2 yg tiap hr kontak lawan jenis ganti2 gtu..
Hr senin A, selasa B, rabu C, dst..
Tebar2 pesona...
Seharusnya setia pd 1 org..
Kalau pgn mengenal or mempertimbangkan, ya tdk perlu terlalu sering..
1 mgu or 2 mgu sekali..
Tetep membuka pergaulan tp slalu jaga hati..
Kalau tebar2 pesona itu ga bs jaga hati diri sendiri n org lain..
Tuhan tdk akan pernah berikan hati pd org yg ga bs jaga hati...
Catet itu baik2...
Terus mohon hikmat Tuhan sambil berpikir, minta nasihat kakak+sahabat rohani...
Wait, praise n obey in the hope of God..ini persis PA ku sm cynthia..
Cynthia adl jwban doa stlh selama ini blm ada yg rindu PA..Dr jamanku kuliah sampai skrg..Krn jwban doa ini juga aku jd percaya kalau Tuhan menjawab itu mungkin aja lama, tp slalu indah pd wkt Nya..

Can Christian Men and Women be Friends?

The question is a powder-keg. Those who immediately answer “yes” can hurl as many barrels of anecdotal evidence as those who scream “no.” Few treat this as a legitimate issue — opinions are given in a tone that implies that the very question violates common sense. Different answers are given. Different passages are cited. Different hills are constructed and died on.
So, can Christian women and men be friends?
To start, multiple kinds of male-female friendships deserve unique attention.
A single woman and a married man.
A married woman and a single man.
A married woman and a married man.
A single woman and a single man.
What do these friendships look like? Should they exist? Does God prohibit them, or are they vital to the body of Christ? Are they obviously inappropriate, or undeniably essential in healthy church community? It seems to me, after considering the biblical evidence, that male-female friendships lean even more heavily on a process that exists in all friendships:
1. Weighing the risks of the relationship
2. Implementing necessary and loving boundaries into the relationship
3. Reaping unique Christ-exalting benefits from the relationship
We usually undergo this process subconsciously with each new relationship: evaluating whether the relationship will be detrimental to ourselves or disobedient to God, and if it is not, identifying healthy parameters to make the relationship as fruitful as possible, and finally enjoying the ongoing benefits of the relationship.
As we ask the question, “Can women and men be friends?” we must realize that each new possibility of a friendship between a woman and a man may require a “no” or “yes” in various circumstances, or at various stages of life.
Unavoidable Risks
Since any godly male-female friendship will be friendship between two disciples of Christ, the first step in building that friendship is to “count the cost, whether [you have] enough to complete it” (Luke 14:28). Enough information. Enough self-control. Enough community. Enough wisdom.
1. Male-female friendships risk unreciprocated feelings.
One person has completely innocent or friendly intentions, and the other falls in love. Between a married person and anyone other than their spouse, the friendship should end immediately.
But even between single people, the dangers are significant. Male-female friendship always brings the possibility for awkwardness, for conflict, for heartache. Someone’s thinking, “Is this going somewhere?” and someone isn’t. This is called “the friend zone,” and it’s very easy for tectonic plates of desire to create exciting and heated friendship when that heat is, in fact, caused by motivations moving in opposite directions.
Whether we’re the desiring or the desired, let’s be honest with ourselves: do we both really want the same thing from this friendship? If we don’t ask ourselves this question, someone will eventually pay the serious consequences.
2. Male-female friendships risk sexual temptation.
If we blindly wander into male-female friendships with the naïve notion that they are no different than same-gender friendships, we are blindly and dangerously mistaken. They are different. Tragic and heartbreaking trends in the church suggest affairs very often begin subtly or even innocently, and end in horrible destruction. Patterns of one-on-one intimacy between members of the opposite sex naturally cultivate the kind of intimacy that leads to romance.
Solomon writes, “A wicked man . . . with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing” (Proverbs 6:12, 14–15).
This is the wrong attitude: “We aren’t fooling around. There’s nothing to worry about. It’s not like that.” The calamity of fornication almost always occurs suddenly. It always surprises us. It always shows up at our door with an innocent smile. Or perhaps it leads us to someone else’s door. Someone’s couch.
The spark of sexual immorality may be the difference of an inch, a glance. The question we must honestly and consistently ask ourselves is: “Does the structure of our relationship look like kindling primed for a forest fire?” If your attitude about your intimacy is relaxed, it is likely set to blaze.
3. Male-female friendships risk undermining marriage.
It’s common for single people to be demonized as the “temptresses” or the “bait,” while the married folk are just the victims of preying mistresses (or misters). Yet, it seems that temptation often comes the other way, from the married person to the single: for example, Joseph and Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39:11–18), or at least ambiguous, in the case of the church member and his father’s wife (1 Corinthians 5:1).
The point isn’t to condemn or idolize any one marital status as more protected than the other. The point is to recognize the common human element that makes possible the subversion of the marriage covenant if one (or both) persons are married. A few diagnostic questions are:
Are we spending time alone together?
Are our meetings (especially locations) increasingly private?
Are we complaining about our marriages (or love life) to each other?
Are we texting each other privately?
Do I find myself thinking about them, or fantasizing about a life with them?
Do I find myself excusing intimacy that would be otherwise inappropriate?
Potential Rewards
Once the risks of a male-female friendship have been considered and weighed, we can ask the question, “Can these risks be mitigated?” Can humility and honesty, community and accountability, protect us from the looming consequences, and allow us to enjoy the good that can come from these friendships?
1. God rewards appropriate boundaries.
Every relationship — all intimacy — flourishes with the right kind of boundaries. And the sort of relationship dictates what boundaries it needs to flourish. “The path of life leads upward for the prudent, that he may turn away from Sheol beneath” (Proverbs 15:24). So what is the appropriate path for female-male friendships?
The answer is, of course, different for each kind of relationship. But the point is boundaries should exist . Some examples would be:
No private text messages (always include a spouse, or another godly friend).
No private or secret meetings (the right person or people
always know).
No detailed discussion of marriages or love lives.
Wisdom requires some no’s in order to maintain the safety and integrity that leads to life, and not the carelessness or liberty that leads to sin.
2. God rewards clear communication.
Put the opposite way, sin thrives in the laziness of ambiguity. Let’s be honest about our own intentions: why are we really compelled to build and invest in this friendship? Is it because we like the attention we get from the other person that we can’t get from a spouse or from prospective spouses? Is it because we are subtly aroused by flirting with the boundaries of something that feels off-limits?
God rewards a thoughtful answer that honestly reflects the state of our hearts. And we need to be careful, in the context of rigorous community, that we’re not fooling ourselves about our own intentions.
Once we have been honest about our own intentions, we must articulate them clearly. Are we friends for the sake of the church, for the sake of a project, for the sake of enjoying a mutual hobby, for the sake of serving the church? Let’s have an answer, and let interactions that veer away from that agreed upon purpose remain off-limits.
3. God rewards strong community.
It’s easy for the church to split itself into men’s ministries, women’s ministries, and couples’ ministries. The singles become the wild card, often throwing what might have been an easy system of purity out of sync. But friendships between men and women in the church are one holy expression of the hard-fought intimacy God has earned for us in Christ (Galatians 3:28), especially as we draw others into those friendships as safeguards.
All the effort we put into boundaries and clarity both honors and enacts this gift — a gift that shouldn’t be prohibited in principle among God’s people. But they should only be allowed when there are appropriate lines of sight with people informed and involved enough to protect both parties.
Why Can’t We Be Friends?
“‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things are helpful” (1 Corinthians 10:23). What is good for some is not profitable for all — and may be harmful. What may be a beautiful and holy male-female friendship in one instance may not be translatable to every male and female, and certainly cannot be absolutized to every male and female. To do so would simply be unwise and unsafe.
But when the risks have been weighed and the rewarding structures have been established, we can, with a clear conscience, come before God and ask him to bless our friendships with the opposite sex. This confidence is earned through a mature and godly track record: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap” (Galatians 6:7). But it is available. And it is beautiful. And like all beautiful things, it requires patient investment, open-handed humility, ruthless selflessness and self-awareness, and self-control.
Paul encourages us, “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality” (Romans 13:13). It’s interesting that Paul contrasts “sexual immorality” with “walk properly as in the daytime.” When our texts aren’t private, our meetings aren’t sneaky, our intimacy not shrouded and smirking, we can participate in the kind of pure intimacy in male-female friendships that is public and commendable, filled with grace and truth.
“Love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:18). No pharisaical command about male-female relationships should inhibit this command. Neither should a libertarian free-for-all subtly subvert it. God delights in male-female friendships, but only when they say something true and good about him to the world (John 13:35). Men and women, let’s be diligent in wisdom, relentlessly above reproach, and let’s be friends in Christ.


Senin, 05 Desember 2016

12 Scriptures to Pray over your Marriage

12 Scriptures to Pray over your Marriage

By: Tiffany Langford

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again; Marriage is by far the most rewarding, yet most challenging task. My biggest mistake when I was waiting on God to send me the man He had for me was thinking that we would have it all together and everything would be perfect.

Needless to say, I was very wrong. I knew the enemy would fight us, but I didn’t understand the degree to which he would. The devil has fought our marriage tooth and nail, because God has called us together for a divine purpose.

The devil is against anything designed by God. For evidence of this just take a look at the state of marriage in our world today.

Whether you are single and waiting, engaged, newly married, or have been married for 40 years, there are times when you have to take a stand against the enemy and intercede for your marriage. Tell the devil he CANNOT have your marriage.

He is out to kill, steal, and destroy but we have the power of the Holy Spirit living on the inside of us. Even if we do not know or understand the issues our  spouse is facing, Romans 8:26 tells us that even when we don’t know what to pray, that the Holy Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings that words cannot express.

Therefore, the Holy Spirit prays through us even when we do not understand what is going on in the flesh. That is why it is so important to get on our knees in prayer, that our carnal eyes would be opened to what is going on in the hearts of our spouse.

If you are single, tell the devil he cannot take your God-given man off of his course to you.
If you are married, put your foot down and tell the devil he cannot and will not steal your marriage.

Marriage is a beautiful covenant between God, you, and your spouse. The best thing you can ever do for your partner no matter where you are in life is to pray for them.

I am currently working on an e-book (Be sure to subscribe to get it sent directly to your e-mail) that will be a devotional on praying for your future spouse. Wherever you are in life, you can pray these scriptures over your marriage.

I am a woman who deeply loves my man, and I want to be the praying wife that he needs me to be. I can see the calling God has placed on his life, and I’ve been his shoulder to cry on. He has always been  there for me, and I want to always be there for him.

What better way can I be there for my husband than to pray for him?

Marriage is an honor and calling not to be taken lightly. Therefore, praying for your partner is essential. With that being said, here are 12 Scriptures that you can pray over your marriage each day.

1. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” ~Ecclesiastes 4:12~

As I said before, marriage is a convent ordained and designed by God. God ultimately brings a marriage together to fulfill His purpose, but He also designs us to love and be there for one another.

When we intertwine our marriage with God, it is difficult to break that bond. God is the glue who holds your marriage together. He will also be the one who holds your marriage together when the world tries to tear you apart. So pray that God would keep you both intertwined with Him.

2. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” ~Proverbs 27:17~

When I hear this verse, I think of a good friend. One who will love me when I’m unlovable, someone who will be honest and upfront with me when I need guidance, and someone who will push me to become what I am meant to be.

When I think of who that person would be for me I think of my husband. I married my best friend. We fulfill our destiny by embracing one another and pressing on to the higher calling. We sharpen one another and keep persevering to the end.

3. It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more.” ~Phil 1:9~

Constantly pursue love and growth in your marriage. Make time for one another. Speak gently and love passionately. Every day I pray that God would allow us to love each other more and more, and that we would fall more in love with Jesus.

When you exert all of your energy into love, you leave less time to complain and be upset. Pray that God’s love would consume you, and that your love for one another would consume you. When you are consumed with love for both God and your spouse, you leave less room for the world to come in.

4. “Two are better than one. If either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.” ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10~

Picture yourself running a race. If you were to fall, your spouse would be there to pick you up. Likewise, you would help them and encourage them to keep going.

Life is a race, and I pray that I would encourage my husband to be the best he possibly can be, to keep going even when its hard because the reward will be worth it in the end. Run together, and push your spouse the best that they can be.

5. “May there be peace within your walls” ~Psalms 122:7~

In my house I have a picture hanging over my couch that says, “Bless this house with love and laughter.” Have you ever walked into someone’s home and could feel the love and peace? Or maybe an uneasy spirit?

It is so important to pray for peace in your marriage, in your home, and in your family. Life becomes much more simple when we can all live in peace. I pray that when people walk into my home they feel the peace of God and not the latter.

6. “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” ~1 Corinthians 7:5~

Let’s just be upfront, this verse is talking about sex. What this verse is saying is to never deprive your spouse unless it is by mutual agreement for a limited time to devote yourself to prayer.

God designed sex as a beautiful thing to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage. Sex connects you to that person in a way that nothing else can. Make it essential to your marriage. Pray for self-control, an abundance of love, and that you would be subject to your spouse’s needs.

7. “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” ~Proverbs 5:18~

If we are all honest, sometimes being married can get hard. When you have two totally different people living together with two different attitudes and mindsets, things can get difficult.

Pray that your marriage would abound in love and joy. Always thank God for your spouse, because God chose to bless you with that person. Rejoice in the person that God gave you. When you are thankful, you set up blessings for yourself in the future as well.

8. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” ~Ephesians 5:21~

To submit means to surrender to someone else. Are you surrendered to your husband’s mental and physical needs? Do you respect him as the Spiritual head of your household or do you do things your own way without even taking your spouse into consideration?

Pray that you would be the husband/wife that your spouse needs you to be. Pray that you would honor and respect your marriage, even when you want to do things your way.

9. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” ~1 John 4:18~

Something I’ve struggled with in my own personal marriage is insecurity. Even though my husband tells me I’m more than enough to him, its a problem inside of me that only God can heal. God gave me a loving husband who understands my insecurities. God brought him into my life at the right time, and he has loved me deeply.

But every day I pray that God would abolish fear in my heart, because fear and confusion are not of God. Hold onto God’s promise to you that every good and perfect gift comes from above. I pray that God would give me a new sense of worth each day and heal me.

10. “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” ~1 Peter 3:7~

Do you want to know what men have figured out about us up to this point in history? Nothing, absolutely nothing. We are complex creatures, but when God designed us, He must have thought, “I have created women so lovely and complex, she is actually what he needs.”

We were designed complex for a reason. Husbands, pray that God would give you to patience to deal with us in love and to be understanding. I know we are a book of unsolved mysteries, but love us anyways. Always pray to be understanding when it comes to your spouse.

11. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” ~Proverbs 31:10~

To have noble character means to hold your morals high. I pray each day that I would be a respectful woman, and that I would hold my standards high in a world where anything and everything seems to go.

If you have found a spouse with noble character, count yourself lucky. Always thank God for them because their value is precious. Pray for them that they would continue to uphold their standards and strive to be someone of noble character as well.

12. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~Proverbs 4:23~

Guard your marriage. I’ll say it again, guard your marriage. The enemy would love nothing more than to tear you apart. Pray that God would give you the discernment of who you need to keep at a distance and who will encourage your marriage.

Honor  your marriage, and protect the heart of your spouse. Love them through and through, and always pray to be the person your husband/wife needs you to be.

Would you like to print this out for your prayer journal? Click here: 12 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage

Minggu, 04 Desember 2016

When God says no

We know Gods Word says that if ask it will be given to us, if we knock, we shall find. But what happens when the answer is not what we want to hear? What if we long for something so much, but God says no? I think that could be one of the most heart-breaking things.
God is a good God and in His Word He states that He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts. And sometimes we ask and ask for a specific thing and in our minds we believe that will make us happy and that is what we need. But God, as our father, sees beyond what we can see, and because he loves us so much, there will be times that he will say no.
My one-year-old daughter has entered that very curious stage of wanting to see and touch everything. She loves to watch me cook. At times I would carry her on one arm and cook with the other. One day she was so into what I was cooking that she really wanted to stick her hand in the pot of spaghetti. In her mind it looked so cool and she really wanted to touch it. When I said no and moved her away from it, she cried and cried. But what she didn’t know was that I wasn’t saying no because I wanted to be mean, but it was because I wanted to prevent her from getting burned!
God is the same way! When he says no it’s not because He wants to be mean, but instead, he is protecting us from something that could potentially harm us.
So today I challenge you to TRUST God even when the answer is no. To TRUST God even when you do not understand what is going on around you. TRUST God even in the midst of confusion and pain. Because in due time you will see His hand and look back and the time He said no… and in that moment you will thank Him; Because He was just loving you and protecting you all along.

Sabtu, 03 Desember 2016

My life with God FB about sadness

Take all your troubles to the Heavenly Father in a prayer….
What ever your needs may be, seek them in a prayer, and ask Our Loving Heavenly Father to help you, it might not be the answer that you want to hear but He will answer your prayers according to His wisdom. Sometimes He will say to you “just be still my Child I am working it out for you”. 
So today if you have any setbacks or problems and worries that are troubling you in your Life, just pour them out to your Heavenly Father in a prayer. 
He wants to work it out for you, and He knows what’s best for you. Just take it all to your Heavenly Father in prayer….

The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. 
(Psalm 145:14)

Yes, it will all be Ok....even though we may go through a valley of tears at this very point in time...
But our Loving Heavenly Father will change our tears of sorrow and pain into tears of joy…
For His love for us endures for ever...
He will wipe our tears away and He will never ever forsake us....

Yes God has a purpose for all things...we may not understand how and why...but we need to trust Him for the outcome...

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:17-18)

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
(Isaiah 41:13)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
(Psalm 147:3)

Kebisuan para ayah

Kebisuan Para Ayah
Dr. Julianto Simanjuntak
Belakangan ini banyak penelitian yang membuktikan bahwa kehadiran ayah dalam kehidupan anak, khususnya anak laki-laki, sangat mempengaruhi pembentukan harga diri dan identitasnya. Anak laki-laki tanpa figur ayah cenderung tumbuh menjadi anak yang sulit. Dia bisa kehilangan pegangan, memberontak, melawan hukum dan berbagai perilaku negatif lainnya.
Setidaknya itu yang kami perhatikan bersama tim di ruang konseling. Masalah anak umumnya bersumber dari para ayah dan atau Ibu mereka. Keluarga adalah sebuah sistem dimana Orangtua menjadi poros utama sistem tersebut. Kehadiran dan peran aktif Ayah dan Ibu sangat penting bagi pertumbuhan anak.
Absent Fathers, Lost Sons adalah judul buku yang ditulis oleh Guy Corneau. Dalam Bahasa Indonesia buku ini diterbitkan dengan judul “Ayah yang Tidak Dirasakan Kehadirannya, Putra yang Kehilangan Arah”.
Dalam buku ini Corneau menuliskan perasaannya sebagai remaja putra berkaitan dengan relasinya dengan ayahnya. Ketika dia kecil, hubungan dengan ayahnya sangat baik. “Saya ingat permainan yang dulu suka kami mainkan,” tulisnya, “saya juga ingat cerita-cerita ayah tentang masa kecilnya… Lalu tiba-tiba saja, ketika saya memasuki pubertas, ketika saya paling membutuhkan ayah saya, ia tidak lagi hadir. Ia telah hilang, lenyap.”
Ketidakhadiran ayahnya membuat Guy selalu mempersalahkan dirinya. “Mungkin saya tidak lagi menarik minatnya”. Guy begitu ingin mendapatkan perhatian ayahnya kembali, ingin berbicara kepada ayahnya; tetapi dia bingung bagaimana meruntuhkan tembok yang terbentang di antara mereka.
Dalam praktek, kuliah, dan penelitiannya di kemudian hari Corneau mendapatkan kenyataan bahwa kepedihannya waktu itu dialami juga oleh banyak remaja pria. Ini sudah diwariskan dari generasi ke generasi, yaitu kebisuan yang menyangkal kebutuhan setiap anak remaja untuk diakui oleh ayahnya.
Budaya kita juga mendukung “kebisuan” kaum pria. Misalnya, kalau pria banyak berbicara disebut “cerewet seperti perempuan”. Lelaki yang berwibawa adalah mereka yang penampilannya tenang, bicara seperlunya, dan tidak menunjukkan perasaannya. Ini sudah diwariskan dari generasi ke generasi.
Diperlukan kesadaran baru untuk para ayah bahwa walaupun putranya sudah remaja, kehadirannya tetap sangat diharapkan. Anak-anak rindu punya hubungan yang akrab dengan ayah mereka.
Josh McDowell memaparkan hasil penelitian mengenai pentingnya hubungan yang berarti antara ayah dan putra-putrinya dalam bukunya, “The Father Connection”.
Penelitian itu – memberi indikasi kuat bahwa hubungan dengan ayah merupakan faktor penting dalam kesehatan, perkembangan dan kebahagiaan seorang anak. Ini tidak berarti bahwa para ibu tidak penting.
Faktanya dalam kebanyakan peristiwa dalam hidup seorang anak atau remaja, ibu ada di sana, melakukan tugasnya, mengurus anak-anak, berbicara dengan anak-anak, dan meluangkan waktu dengan anak-anak. Akibatnya, anak-anak tahu bahwa ibu dapat terjangkau, mengasihi, omunikatif dan menerima.
Tetapi dengan ayah, berbeda. Nampaknya, para ayah kurang dapat menerima hubungan yang akrab, kurang terlibat atau kurang komunikatif dengan anak-anaknya. Sama seperti kita semua, anak-anak kita merindukan apa yang tidak mereka miliki. Dalam hal ini, anak-anak rindu punya hubungan yang akrab dengan ayah mereka.
Kehadiran ayah sangat dibutuhkan oleh remaja pria karena dalam kenyataannya banyak remaja pria bingung menghadapi pesan-pesan yang muncul dalam masyarakat soal bagaimana menjadi pria sejati. Remaja sekarang tumbuh dalam masyarakat yang mengagungkan kekerasan dan tanpa batas. Banyak emosi yang muncul yang tidak mereka mengerti dan mereka bingung harus melakukan apa.
Anak-anak pra remaja yang tidak akrab dengan ayah akan sulit membangun pertemanan (peer group) yang sehat. Dia akan merasa kesepian karena kehilangan hubungan yang berarti dengan ayahnya. Akibatnya adalah dia mau berteman dengan siapa saja yang mau menjadi temannya. Dia akan mudah terseret dalam pergaulan yang buruk. Dia tidak mampu membuat keputusan yang benar.
Sama seperti para korban gangguan stress pasca trauma(post traumatic stress disorder), maka anak yang pernah dianiaya atau ditelantarkan orang tuanya di masa kecil akan memendam campuran kemarahan, rasa malu, rasa tidak percaya dan kecemasan yang sifatnya sangat mudah meledak. Begitu anak ini menjadi dewasa, apa yang dulu dipendamnya akan mulai naik dan meledak ke permukaan.
Betapa besarnya harga yang harus dibayar. Anak-anak yang diremehkan, dan secara emosi ditelantarkan oleh keluarganya menderita depresi kronis, harga diri menciut, dan tidak mampu mengambil keputusan. Mereka cenderung terus mencari pengakuan akan nilai dirinya, tetapi terlalu takut menghadapi penolakan sehingga mereka juga tidak berani membela diri. Mereka terombang-ambing di antara dua ekstrem: dari “perilaku penyendiri” ke “mau mendapatkan keintiman instan”, dari kecurigaan ke pengkhianatan; dan dari mengidolakan ke menguasai orang lain.
Kalau relasi orangtua, khususnya ayah, dengan anak telanjur rusak, bagaimana memperbaikinya? Ada beberapa hal yang bisa dipertimbangkan.
Pertama adalah meminta maaf. Mengakui pada anak-anak bahwa kita sudah mengabaikan mereka saat mereka kecil. Kita bersikap tidak adil dan membeda-bedakan. Ini tentu sulit bagi sebagian besar ayah, tetapi sekali Anda tulus minta maaf pada anak maka pintu pemulihan terbuka lebar.
Kedua, kita memperkaya relasi dengan anak-anak dengan cara memberikan waktu dan perhatian lebih banyak. Jika tidak, maka anak-anak akan sulit mempercayai bahwa ayahnya benar-benar menyesal. Berilah waktu kepada si anak paling tidak seminggu sekali untuk berdua dan sharing secara pribadi, misalnya sambil makan bersama. Rencanakan juga waktu berlibur dan rekreasi bersama mereka setidaknya dua kali setahun.
Ketiga, tunjukkan kualitas hubungan Anda sebagai ayah kepada ibu mereka. Jika Anda mencintai ibu mereka dan hubungan anda dengan ibu anak-anak baik, mereka akan merasa aman dan nyaman. Mereka akan senang ada di rumah. Home sweet home.
Keempat, cintailah anak-anak dan berilah mereka selalu ada kesempatan kedua. Izinkan mereka gagal, dan selalu mendapat kasih dan pengampunan dari Anda sebagai ayah. Terutama saat anak remaja, mereka tanpa sadar cenderung melawan kita sebagai ayah mereka. Jika anak mendapatkan cinta tanpa syarat dari ayahnya, mereka akan mudah mengenal Allah itu Baik.
Bahan diskusi
1. Berapa waktu yang sdr sediakan bercakap cakap dengan anak di rumah
2. Apakah ada waktu khusus yang sdr sediakan bicara dari hati ke hati dengan masing-masing anak
3. Apa yang sdr rencanakan agar punya waktu lebih baik dan berkualitas bersama anak.
Dr. Julianto Simanjuntak

Mencari Teman Hidup (Dr Julianto Simanjuntak)

Mencari Teman Hidup
~ Dr. Julianto Simanjuntak
Menemukan teman hidup adalah sebuah seni tinggi. Ini merupakan perpaduan antara usaha manusia dan anugerah Allah. Tuhan menyediakan, manusia mengupayakan (Julianto Simanjuntak )
Teman hidup adalah pemberian istimewa. Pasanganmu ikut menentukan visi hidup, karir, kepribadian, hingga kesehatan mental kita.
Teman hidup tentu harus disesuaikan dengan selera dan disesuaikan dengan visi hidup, visi keluarga dan kepribadian. Pasangan yang cocok tidak datang begitu saja. Kita harus mencari dan menemukannya. Mencari yang sepadan. Makin sepadan makin bagus. Sebab dengan banyak cocok sedikit cekcoknya.
Cinta menjadi faktor manusiawi yang melekatkan kita dengan pasangan. Membuat kita suka, menerima pasangan apa adanya, dan cakap mengampuni. Kita usahakan sepadan dalam hal usia, fisik, kepercayaan, pendidikan, sosial-ekonomi, dan sebagainya. Sebab jika terlalu senjang, menghabiskan energi untuk konflik.
Jadi selama pacaran usahakan ada waktu buat saling mengenal. Usahakan pacaran minimal dua tahun dan intens berkenalan.
Kalian boleh berbeda, asal jangan mencolok dan pastikan bahwa masing-masing sanggup memikul perbedaan itu seumur hidup. Ingat, seumur hidup. Ingat juga, yang namanya nilai, keyakinan, atau sifat biasanya sulit diubah dalam waktu singkat. Trauma dan budaya yang ekstrem dari keluarga calon pasangan, haruslah dikenali baik-baik, sebab itu lebih banyak tidak disadari. Atau sadar, tapi menyembunyikannya dari pasangan. Konseling sebelum menikah membantu sebagai sarana pemulihan dari trauma masa lalu.
Sekali lagi, teman hidup harus disesuaikan dengan pribadi kita. Kitalah yang harus mencari dan menemukannya. Caranya aktif dan kreatif berteman. Dari antara teman-teman itulah kita memutuskan siapa yang menjadi pacar kita. Kalau sudah bekerja, luangkan waktu mengajak teman Anda ke gereja, jalan dan makan bersama, atau kegiatan lainnya.
Jangan terlalu sibuk dengan karir atau pelayanan. Jangan menyembunyikan diri dengan kesibukan Anda. Apalagi pura-pura tidak butuh. Kalau perlu gunakan mak comblang (perantara). Terutama jika usia Anda sudah cukup banyak.
Sebagian klien kami ada yang enggan cari pacar dan menikah karena punya trauma. Misalnya melihat pernikahan orang tuanya penuh konflik atau bercerai. Punya kemarahan terhadap ayah yang menyiksa ibunya. Dia kemudian takut, dalam trauma yang tak kunjung sembuh ia lalu berpikir, "Apa saya harus menikah, jika ternyata pernikahan membuat saya menderita?"
Kita memang tidak bisa mengubah masa lalu, mengubah pernikahan ayah-ibu yang kacau dan rusak. Tetapi kita bisa membuat pohon yang baru. Dengan anugerah Tuhan, tidak ada yang mustahil untuk usaha ini, melahirkan generasi baru anak-anak tebusan. Di samping cinta, tentu kita harus mencari pimpinan Tuhan. agar orang yang kita nikahi kelak ada dalam restu dan campur tangan Tuhan. Tidak melanggar kehendak-Nya dan sesuai dengan firman-Nya.
Selain berdoa, kita perlu minta pendapat (restu) orang tua, masukan dari sahabat atau penasehat rohani Anda. Sangat baik menemui penasehat perkawinan, mengikuti konseling pranikah, setidaknya 6 bulan.
Anda sangat beruntung jika bisa ikut psikotes bareng calon Anda. Setidaknya perlu mengenali pribadi dan kesehatan mental pasangan. Premarital test sangat saya rekomendasikan, termasuk periksa kesehatan fisik. Itu sangat penting.
Nah, jika saudara sudah kenal dia dengan baik dan mendapat banyak informasi tentang calon Anda, kini saatnya mempertimbangkan dengan matang. Apakah ada damai sejahtera. Apakah yakib merasa nyaman tinggal bersama dia seumur hidup. Apakah ada keraguan dalam diri kalian. Doakan. Diskusikan. Apakah ada hambatan yang berarti dan berbahaya jika di paksakan? Semua ini patut jadi bahan pertimbangan.
Menemukan teman hidup adalah sebuah seni tinggi. Ini merupakan perpaduan antara usaha manusia dan anugerah Allah. Tuhan menyediakan kita mengusahakan
Julianto Simanjuntak
Roswitha Ndraha

Selasa, 29 November 2016

The Holy Call of Writing: Are You Called to Write?


How do you know if you have truly been called by God to write? Let me suggest three signs that mark the life of a person who has this calling:
1. Knowledgeable people have affirmed our gifts and abilities.
We usually become aware of our spiritual gifts because other believers have affirmed those gifts in us. I’m not saying that writing per se is a spiritual gift, but if we have a spiritual gift of teaching or evangelizing or helping others through our writing, other believers will often tell us they see those gifts in us. We will also receive an affirmation of our writing ability from writing instructors, fellow writers, readers, editors who value our work, and so forth.
2. We have an unquenchable need to write.
We cannot keep from writing. We have to write. When we’re not writing, we think about writing and wish we were writing. This doesn’t mean we always feel inspired and ready to write. But a person who feels called to write wants to write even during bouts of writer’s block. In fact, those times when we are unable to write become times of suffering and spiritual anguish for those who are genuinely call to write.
3. We view writing as obedience to God.
We don’t write out of a desire for wealth or fame or to gratify our own egos. We write to serve Him. And if we did not write, we would feel we are disobeying Him.
Christian novelist and literary agent Terry Burns put it this way: “God initiates if we are genuinely called to write. If He does, writing becomes an assigned task—an obligation—and we must be acutely aware that God always finishes what He starts.”
The writer who is called to write is content to simply do his or her best work, then leave the results with God. The writer’s career is in God’s hands. Sales figures are in God’s hands. rankings are in God’s hands. Awards are in God’s hands.
Above all, the writer who is called to write doesn’t compare himself or herself to any of the writer. Remember how, in the closing verses of John’s Gospel, Peter pointed to John and said, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus replied, in essence, “Mind your own business, Peter. Never mind about John. You must follow me” (see John 21:21-22).
If you approach writing as a holy calling, your life will be marked by two qualities: enthusiasm and inspiration . The English noun enthusiasm comes from the Greek adjective
entheos , meaning “having God within” (from en , “within,” and
theos , “God”). When you are called by God to write, you have a sense that God lives and works through you, and every creative act you perform is a loving imitation of the nature and activity of God the Creator.
The word inspiration also contains powerful spiritual implications. It comes from the Latin inspirare , meaning “to breathe into or fill with breath or spirit” (from in , “into,” and
spirare , “to breathe”). We get our English word spirit (or Spirit, as a proper name for the Holy Spirit of God) from the Latin
spirare , because the ancients believed that the breath was the spirit of a person; when the breath departed at death, the spirit departed.
To be inspired is to be fully alive. As Christian novelist Carol Gift Page once said (paraphrasing athlete and missionary Eric Liddel), “When I write, I feel God’s pleasure.” This doesn’t mean you should expect to feel continually inspired and enthusiastic. Feelings go up and down, but a calling from God is forever. When the feelings wane, trust in your calling. Trust in the One who always finishes what He starts.
Christian literary agent Rachelle Gardner of Books & Such Literary Agency tells a story of meeting with an author friend over lunch. Gardner’s friend was going through a difficult struggle in her writing career. She said, “I’m starting to question whether this is really my calling. Some days, writing just isn’t fun.”
“Hmm,” Gardner said. “Is your marriage fun every day?”
The author had to admit there were times when her marriage wasn’t fun.
“When it’s not fun, do you question the marriage? Do you consider divorce?”
The author rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”
“Every time you have an argument, the whole marriage doesn’t fall apart. And every time you have a bad day writing, you shouldn’t question your calling.”
But, the author countered, doesn’t God give us a passion for our calling?
Gardner said, “Are you passionate about your husband—every day?”
The author got the point.
“Your calling to be a writer,” Rachelle Gardner concludes, “is bigger than a feeling that shifts with the wind. Once you decide that this is what you’re supposed to be doing, you have to avoid using every roadblock as a reason to question it. Instead, look at whether your calling is being confirmed.”
If God calls you to write, then write. Obey your calling. Delight in the eternally important work God has given you to do.
You are blessed with a purpose. You have a holy calling. You are a writer.
1. Rachelle Gardner, “Called to Write,”, November 28, 2011, Some dialogue was condensed or paraphrased from the original blog.

Minggu, 27 November 2016

Menyelesaikan cinta lama by mas Gun

Aku lg menolong adik yg msh teringat org yg disukainya...

Joko sewaktu mahasiswa jatuh cinta kepada Santi, teman satu jurusan. Mereka cukup dekat, namun memang belum terjadi relasi. Kedekatan itu berjalan cukup lama. Joko merasa Santi adalah wanita yang sangat tepat untuk menjadi istrinya. Dari sifat-sifatnya, dari fisiknya, dari cara berpikirnya, Joko merasa Santi sangat menyenangkan. Dan selama bersahabat, Santi rasanya juga menikmati relasi persahabatan itu. Kepada Santi Joko juga membagikan cita-citanya untuk bekerja memperdayakan orang-orang miskin dan terpinggirkan. Santi sangat menghargai cita-cita Joko dan bahkan mendukungnnya. Mereka juga punya kesenangan yang sama. Joko sering membuat tulisan-tulisan , dan Santi juga. Mereka saling mendiskusikan tulisan-tulisan itu. Mereka juga menyukai lagu-lagu yang punya genre folk. Karena itu mereka memang banyak menggunanakan waktu bersama. Akan tetapi karena Santi memang pribadi yang menarik dan cantik, pria yang menyukainya banyak sekali. Dan juga ada beberapa yagn merasa dekat. Santi bukan pribadi yang tertutup, karenannya orang mudah merasa dekat dengannya. Temannya berasal dari berbagai kelompok. Namun kisah Joko berakhir duka. Di akhir kuliah, ketika tinggal mengerjakan skripsi, Joko sulit menghubungi Santi. Santi punya kesibukan-kesibukan lain. Dan ternyata kemudian ada kabar kalau Santi sudah bertunangan dengan seorang pria,lulusan Amerika. Joko berusaha mengkontak Santi , namun Santi tidak pernah membalas. Mereka sempat bertemu saat wisuda, namun itupun hanya singkat,sebab Santi disertai tunagannnya dan keluarga besarnya. Beberapa waktu kemudian Joko mendapat undangan pernikahan Santi. Alangkah sedih hati Joko. Sulit sekali baginya untuk melupakan Santi. Waktu berjalan, namun kenangan dengan Santi tetap di hatinya.  Joko merasa tidak menemukan wanita seindah Santi.Joko bersahabat dengan banyak wanita, namun tidak juga menemukan yang seperti Santi. Di antara sahabatnya itu tentu banyak yang mengharapkan Joko akan menyatakan cintanya, sebab dengan segala cita-cita dan kesukaannya, Joko adalah pribadi yang baik dan seorang pribadi yang berpikir mendalam. Namun Joko tidak juga membangun hubungan Ketika usia sudah mendekati 30,dan karena banyak factor yang mendasari, Joko akhirnya memutuskan untuk menikah. Dia menikahi Ratna, salah satu teman yang dijumpainya dalam pelayanannya kepada masyarakat. Akan tetapi dalam lubuk hatinya, dia tidak bisa melupakan Santi. Santi adalah pribadi yagn terbaik, tak tergantikan. Demikian isi hati Joko. Sekalipun Ratna adalah wanita cantik dan banyak kelebihan, namun Santi lah yang terindah. Saat pernikahan sudah berjalan 10 tahun, ternyata Joko tidak bisa melupakan Santi. Dia kadang-kadang berharap berjumpa Santi. Atau mencari kabar tentang Santi. Santi pernah berkontak saat beberapa kali reuni, namun kontak itu tidak mendalam. Joko terus mengenang Santi. Santi punya ruang khusus. Dan semua tulisan-tulisan yang mereka buat, lagu-lagu yang pernah mereka nyanyikan, foto-foto yang mereka pernah buat,masih tersimpan di ruang khusus, yang Ratna tidak ketahui. Bagaimana dengan cinta seperti Joko ini? Apakah dibiarkan demikian atau perlu diselesaikan ? Tentu kisah seperti Joko ini perlu diselesaikan.
 Mengapa ?
1. Joko sudah menikah. Pernikahan adalah kesatuan yang utuh, tubuh, jiwa dan roh. Jika Joko masih menyimpan cinta itu, maka tidak akan bisa menikmati kesatuan itu. Joko akan menjalani pernikahannya dengan separo kesatuan.
2. Dengan demikian keindahan pernikahan yang Tuhan sediakan bagi Joko tidak akan dinikmati. Tuhan menyediakan pernikahan untuk membuat hidup indah.Syaratnya kesatuan yang ada dalam pernikahan perlu dijalani. Kesatuan hati dan kesatuan lainnya. Joko tidak menyediakan hatinya untuk bersatu, sehingga keindahan itu tidak  bisa dirasakan.
3. Keindahan Ratna tidak bisa Joko rasakan. Ratna pribadi yang menarik, akan tetapi mata Joko tertutup. Di matanya hanya terlihat Santi, sehingga keindahan orang di depan mata tidak nampak.
4. Ratna dan anak-anak bisa menderita. Karena hati yang tidak sepenuhnya disatukan, pasti ada hal-hal yagn menjadi masalah. Sekalipun Joko berjuang untuk bersikap baik kepada Ratna, dan tidak pernah marah, selalu siap di sampingnya, menyediakan semua yang dibutuhkan, namun pasti ada hal-hal yang  tidak berjalan sebagaimana mestinya, sebab Joko tidak bisa bersatu sepenuhnya. Cinta Ratna yang tulus dan penyerahannya yang sungguh-sungguh, tidak terbalas dengan baik. Joko tidak menghargainya, dan malah bisa melukainya.
5. Joko akan menderita. Joko  terus mengenang Santi, dan terus berpikir bahwa Santilah yagn bisa menjadi pasangan yang tepat. Ini membuat hati kecewa dan terluka. Selanjutnya bisa mempengaruhi kepribadian dan kesehatan fisiknya. Dan tentu akan membuat relasi-relasi Joko dengan keluarga dan orang-orang sekitar terganggu. Sukacita yang sebenarnya tersedia, tidak bisa dinikmati , malah disia-siakan, hanya karena bermimpi tentang sukacita yang tidak mungkin diraih. Apa yang bisa dilakukan oleh Joko?
1. Joko perlu menyadari bahwa dia sedang menghancurkan kebahagiaannya dan kebahagiaan orang-orang terdekatnya, yang tentu sangat mengasihinya. Jika kesadaran ini muncul, maka jalan untuk penyelesaian cinta lama akan terbuka.
2. Joko perlu menyadari bahwa sekalipun Santi begitu luar biasa, belum tentu Santi bisa menjadi istri yang tepat dan rumah tangganya bisa indah. Pernikahan adalah hal yang berbeda dengan relasi persabatan dan pacaran. Pernikahan menyangkut aspek-aspek yang lebih luas.
3. Dan kalau Tuhan sudah menyediakan Ratna, perlu belajar menerima Ratna adalah wanita indah untuk dirinya. Dan coba dengan tulus mencari keindahan Ratna, pasti nanti bisa menemukan keindahan-keindahannya.
4. Joko perlu menyadari juga, bahwa Santi sudah mengambil keputusan untuk hidupnya. Kalau dulu dia sungguh-sungguh mencintai Santi, maka buktinya adalah melepaskan Santi untuk memilih pilihan hidupnya sendiri. Bukti cinta adalah memberikan kemerdekaan untuk yang dicintai memilih apa yang dianggapnya baik dan setelah itu melepas pula segala perasaan kepadanya. Ada orang berpikir, saya tidak memaksa dia, saya merelakan dia pergi, dan kalau saya masih meyimpan perasaan ini, ini hak saya. Memang demikian. Akan tetapi meyimpan perasaan cinta, sebenarnya juga masih menjerat dia dalam hati kita.  Mungkin kita tidak mengganggu orang itu, akan tetapi kita ada situasi-situasi tidak terkontrol terjadi dalam hidup kita, maka kita bisa mengganggu dia, setidaknya dengan mengirim semacam pesan” Engkau tetap yang terindah”. Pesan-pesan semacam itu adalah pesan-pesan  yang tidak elok. Karena itu bukti cinta adalah juga dengan melepas perasaan itu. Supaya saya siap membangun relasi dengan orang baru dan menyambut kebahagiaan baru.
5. Apabila Joko telah rela melepaskan Santi, dengan memahami poin-poin di atas, maka langkah-langkah berikut bisa dilakukan untuk melepas cinta lama nya :
-  Buatlah upacara kecil untuk pelepasan. Ambil semua barang yang ada kaitannya dengan Santi , kemudian bakarlah itu, sambil mengatakan, hari ini aku lepaskan semua kenangan ku dengan Santi wanita yang dulu aku cintai, sekarang aku melepaskannya dan berharap dia berbahagia dengan hidup yang dipilihnya.
-  Berbicara dengan seorang teman yang dewasa atau seorang konselor, lalu bersama dengan dia membuat upacara kecil untuk pelepasan. Mungkin pertemuan dengan konselor butuh beberapa sesi. Joko perlu mengikuti dengan setia.
-  Apabila setelah itu masih teringat Santi, Joko bisa berdoa, Tuhan terima kasih dulu Engkau sudah memperkenalkan aku dengan Santi, sekarang aku sudah melepaskannya. Berkati dia, dan tolong aku menjalani hidupku sekarang dengan baik. Kiranya menjadi berkat.

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